the scales
its cold as a witch's titty outside...and I had to come all the way home from philly in this shit...its not only snowing but its raining too...I guess that's called sleet. I hate sleet. literally and the word itself...the word sleet just sounds unpleasant and disgustin...which is how I felt walking home in this putridly cold bullshit.
rewind...I spent the weekend in philly...first time I'd been back since my short bartending stint there (which still manages to cast a negative light over the entire city in my mind, which isn't really cool). me and my girl lexy just wanted to get away from the tri-state for a couple of days. actually, she was already planning to go, but asked me along for companionship...and apparently she recognized that I needed a break. word. so yes, I enjoyed myself...the hotel we were staying in was gorgeous. I adore hotels...the nicer ones, anyway...not the overpriced closet-sized piece of boo-boo hotels new york tends to boast...real hotels where everything is decorated beautifully and smells good; the ones with swimming pools and work-out rooms in the lower lobby and customer service employees who really try to make your stay as comfortable as possible. I'm considering becoming a marriot rewards member like lexy (amenities are dope)...if I'm going to be a flight attendant I'll be doing some hotel lodging I'm sure.
I still have yet to spring that idea on my parents...I'll get my mama's opinion on it first before my father's...if I don't thoroughly do my research and have my pros and cons all lined up he'll brush it off and dismiss it like most other things I've expressed interest in exploring.
fast forward...philly...her boy took us to dinner after he got off work last night, and I wanted nothing more then for christopher to be there with us. it's mad hard being the third wheel, even though I did feel rather cute. when we went back up to the suite and they began to fool around I called christopher to give him a play-by-play...cause he is a freak like that and I figured he'd enjoy it. and after they'd closed the door and left me to myself, I continued to talk to him on the phone until I fell asleep pretending he was laying next to me.
when me and lexy woke up this morning around 9am we immediately went down to the hotel's buffet breakfast so we could get out of there early incase the snow started to get worse. I was waiting for a waffle when I glanced at one of the various TVs posted throughout and saw SADDAM CAPTURED across the bottom of the screen. it was surreal...wow. talk about out the blue.
today is actually one of those days I would've spent in front of CNN forming opinions and conspiracy theories if I didn't have a three hour trip back to new york to make. trying to shake the numbness...wondering how many more military personnel will die before I don't feel so ill about who's running my country (and with what motives and who's interest), regardless of whether we "captured" that broke ass santa claus looking figurehead hussein. maybe bin laden will be "found" a few weeks before elections next year...that is the golden goose for bush after all...
so ok...I'ma hold my elaborated political thoughts off for a couple of days...mainly because right now I don't have many that don't sound anti-american which I am actually not; I'm no fan of saddam hussen's tyranny...I just don't overstand what is supposed to happen now. who's next? when do "we" start helping the african nations plauged by war and terrorism anyway? oh wait...perhaps their natural resources aren't the holy grail iraqi oil is...
so much other shit going on right now in my head, besides. tomorrow is traj's birthday and I miss him a lot. today has been very roller coastery emotion wise. almost surreal. starting with the snow and saddam...the middle - a long train ride to NY penn station and subsequent wet slush bombarding me as I waited for the bus home...ending with kyedi on my answering machine urging me to call her back immediately. turns out james' cousin eches died this weekend from a blood clot in his heart...a complication of the stab wounds he suffered last week. I held it together until I gave james my condolences...I figure he's dealing with enough already, why get all sobby on him...I can't possibly feel what he does right now...thats fam.
heh, I used to call eches "cousin" because I could never remember how to pronounce his name...eches...EE-chis. he was a poet and an emcee; used to read me snippets from his written work...I always thought that one day soon we'd just go back and forth and read from our books all day, smoking blunts. he was too young and too full of all the good shit god gives to go out like this...too many young black men dying before their time. and why is it that when someone dies, heads say shit like "he was such a good person"? is it the fact that most people think it disrespectful to speak ill of the dead so they only recite the positive? or is it that the good ones always seem to go way too soon and unexpected? in this case, I'm rolling with the latter...eches was the greatest. respectful, loyal, funny...I always thought of him as a survivor because although I heard a saddness in his voice, there was also strength and defiance lingering...a refusal to succumb, nahmean. heh, I used to wonder if I'd met him before I started dating james would he have given me a chance. I sure liked him better.
I'll ask him when I see him again.