so thankful
a lot to say...no time...high standards.
that is the holy trinity of why I write on this website so sporadically. weeks at a time I'll write down snippets as they come to me of things I need to make mention of...but then once I have a scrolling notepad document full of these snippets I don't have the time to sort them out. when I do find the time, I have to piece them together with witty segues and clever asides and often I just don't feel like it. I'll work on it. I'm just kinda lazy about sitting at a computer to type when I already work on the computer sixteen hours a day. there was a time I updated very frequently...but that was mostly because I was always online chatting with christopher or flashing him my tiddies on webcam or something equally as 2001. did you know a whole group of white girls writing about sex on their blogspots are snagging book deals lately? shits crazy. looks like I was controversial a few years too early. in the meantime...
sweet potato pie, macaroni and cheese, corn pudding, mashed potatos with gravy, green beans, cornbread dressing, sweet potato casserole, and turkey...yes. I motherfucking killed thanksgiving dinner and by killed I mean it was really good. created, from scratch (i.e. none of that dressing-in-a-bag type shit...lookin like some ghetto croutons...oh no, I'm an overachiever and I baked the cornbread and oven-dried potato bread to make my own dressing), by myself, the most delicious meal I have ever prepared which is saying a lot cause I can throw down if need be. I'd thought briefly about making cornish hens instead of turkey but I'm so glad I rolled with the latter...the tips I received from alton brown made it well worth it. I feel like such a donna reed bitch but thats just who I am these days.
I woke up at 7am thanksgiving morning after only three hours of sleep (I was cleaning til 4am...I was focused. after around 1am I became a cleaning drone like alice from the jetsons) to start my sweet potato pie. I was snapping green beans when I recalled we had not a damn thing to drink...so as is always the way I had to send christopher back to the store (I'd already been twice the day before) for merlot, white zinfandel, and assorted 2 liters of pop and thangs. green beans were in the crock pot with vegetable broth, garlic, and onions by the time the macy's day parade came on. then I might've started the cornbread...I dunno. every activity blurred into another the entire morning I was so tired. I remember my mom and her husband arriving at 11am but I wouldn't let them in the kitchen. I do find joy in the domesticated type of shit these days...like having a really clean crib and smelling food cooking in the oven. I was still in alice-mode anyway. I chopped so much onion and garlic my hand was sore, but the good kind of sore...like the kind you get the morning after you worked out mad hard. it wasn't until the potatoes were boiling around 4pm that I finally got to take a shower and pretty myself. my mother couldn't wait to run into the kitchen and make sure I had it together...up to that point I'd put her on serena duty, but my ma dukes itches to cook and clean at every moment and besides asking her to oversee the ingredients for the corn pudding, which is her recipe, I hadn't let her do a damn thing. we didn't actually eat until 6pm, which is two hours after I wanted to eat, but it worked out. the turkey was scrumptious, chile...even the white meat was moist. the food channel, ladies and gentlemen.
two irritations, though...wouldn't be a holiday without wanting to scissor kick a nigga. genevieve was late...4 damn hours late without so much as a "hey I'm late" phone call. but she did come with tiramisu, cheesecake, and plum wine so I did like mariah and shook shook it off. second irritation - by the time I got to the wine the next day my mother's husband had drank 80% of it. RUDE. and WRONG. how you gonna come to someone's house and use a gift they just received the day before? no home training. that's greedy like the kat who hovers over the buffet table and then...eats all the shrimp cocktail. I don't know. I had a better example I gave to christopher earlier but he forgot it and so did I.
it was most important for me to ensure that topher enjoyed his evening because this was the first thanksgiving he'd be spending away from his fam. awwww. last year we got to cleveland 9am thanksgiving morning after sitting on a bus for nine, ten hours that took all kinds of inventive long-cuts through an unexpected snow storm. I was pregnant and grumpy and it was all I could do to put on a smile for his mom - first time I'd met her. she made me feel so welcome even though she very well could've been cursing me in her head for getting knocked up three months after I coerced her babyboy into moving all the way to new york city. her food was good, too...if you can cook even remotely as good as a dude's mama, you're in there. I also wanted to make sure topher enjoyed dinner because these fools at his place of employment decided that in order to get the jump on their competitors on black friday that they'd open at midnight. so this nigga had to eat, rest for a couple hours, and go to work 11pm - 8am. couldn't send my dude to work on a stomach full of anything less then stellar sustenance.
so here's what I have to be thankful for in 2005 which is quickly winding down: ma dukes! for coming to new york so often to help me take care of my seed on the weekends when I have to devote so much time to phattygirl...and for buying me the winter coat of life...for being really pretty, henceforth making me less afraid of aging. my daughter! for giving my life purpose and direction...for lighting a fire under my ass as far as going after what I want...for being everything me and christopher predicted our kid would be (beautiful, stubborn, smart, strong) years ago when we thought we were just making conversation. my boyfriend! for having a large penis. also for knowing at least a little about damn near everything and working hard and hating the world with me when I'm in "I hate new york I hate my job I hate my clients I hate rich people for having what I can't and the sun and the air" mode. my friends! for sticking around...cause not all of them did thats for sure...and loving me even though I forget to call or e-mail you back sometimes cause I'm constantly busy and tired and its a miracle I even remember to put my draws on in the morning sometimes. ramen noodles! for just being mad delicious and 25 cents a pack. I don't even know what it is about you, ramen, but damn...sometimes I'll have real food in the fridge and I'll still eat you instead. dayquil, theraflu, kleenix with aloe! I was sick for two weeks straight with an exotic cross between bird flu and the ebola virus as was my boyfriend...our home was a snotty ass pit of despair...no light...no happy...no hope. couldn't miss a second week of work so I overdosed on meds and toughed it out. yay drugs.
I'm also thankful for my favorite drama on tv for keeping me amused. surpassing lost and medium, that show is grey's anatomy and not just because it has one of the most clever intros on tv. also not because isaiah washington is a howard university college of fine arts alumni such as myself...although that helps. HU bitches. that show just had me and christopher dying laughing last night. whenever I talk to genevieve, who officially earned the right to put the M.D. after her name in june, I picture her life to be exactly like that show. attractive, witty doctors shagging in the break room an shit. it started out slow the first season...first few episodes had me throwing assorted objects at the tv I was so irritated by the mundanity...but its grown into some quality programming. last night dr. bailey a.k.a. "black sass" as christopher calls her, said "don't make me chase you down, I'm growing a person here". I dunno yo...as a formerly pregnant, chunky, sassy, aggressive black women such as myself it was just funny but I guess you had to be there.
I'm goin back to colo...rado for the first time in nearly two years to spend christmas with my father. I'd never move back to denver but I miss the cleanliness...and it's so pretty during the holiday season. I look forward to showing topher where I grew up...my schools, the chill spots...paris on the platte where I used to talk with carly about pretentiously teenagerish subjects over tea with cream that tasted like fruity pebbles...the cherry creek mall only cause it's oh so bougeouise and used to be so impressive to me because it was the first spot in denver to get a MAC store...16th street - the closest thing denver has to a times square or a village...wax trax records for the rare records and t-shirts...fashionation where I first fell in love with the goth aesthetic...the parlor along colfax I got my first tattoo in...wholesome memories, ya know? hopefully my father can recommend some more grown and sexy spots for us to go see in lodo because I don't really wanna spend my entire vacation hanging out where I did ten years ago. hopefully it'll snow, too. and after spending christmas in new york last year with no family around it'll be a welcome departure to have a christmas tree and lights wrapped around the stair banister and a fireplace to hang stockings on and my dads car to drive in lieu of the fuckin subway. not that new york isn't nice this time of year...last christmas eve topher and I went to see the tree at rockerfeller tree and it was gorgeous but damn...tourists. out of town fools dampen the new york holiday cheer with their propensity to stop mid-sidewalk in high traffic areas to take pictures of the green and red lights on the empire states building or what the fuck ever else they can find to point out while I'm just trying to get somewhere on time.
it'll be bittersweet, though. my two closest friends since sandboxes and jem and the holograms* don't even live in colorado anymore. my third closest friend, the one I used to run wild with, who's only been relegated to third because we don't keep in touch like me, natasha, and genevieve do still lives in denver...but she seems to spend most of her time now being christian and going to church and listening to yolanda adams and reading the bible and probably knitting or doing other such wholesome activities...making gingerbread or some shit. it's not that I can't be cool with mega religious katsso long as they don't judge my heathenry...if you like it I love it, feel me? I just don't know what her life is like now. and her parents always thought I was the one influencing her negatively when it was really the opposite. not that I'm complaining...I needed some corrupting. and it's them preacher's kids that run the wildest. I'll give her a call and let her know I'll be around...her daughter should be about six years old now...and it'd be nice to go out with her and her husband. topher and I don't have any couples to go out with, nor other parents for that matter.
*I spent about five hours straight this past saturday loungin on my coach with my sweetface pumpkin pie of a daughter watching the cartoon network...and although I maintain they just don't make quality cartoons like jem or thundercats or the original g.i. joe and the transformers or even animaniacs...the grim adventures of billy and mandy is hilarious yo. cow and chicken, powerpuff girls, and dexter's laboratory meet my approval as well, but I'd seen those before. billy and mandy is new to me. do they sell that shit on dvd? hilarious yo.
since I haven't really updated in nearly a month my denoument will be a short overview of the things that have been on my mind over the past few weeks that I may or may not embellish upon next entry which WILL be sooner then later since I'm not putting anymore pressure on myself by promising yall how often I'ma update or what my subject matter might entail *deep breath*: 1. I thought "run it" by chris brown was sang by a chick til I saw the video. never listened to the lyrics. I mean c'mon...it ain't no ghostface of mos def or anything that actually begs for analyzation...its basically "yeah!" part 300...hot beat, throwaway lyrics. if it went "is your blah! on the blah! if he blah! let me blah!" it'd still be a hit. basically, it was just ambiance music in the strip club as far as I was concerned (oh...I didn't write about my halloween party yet did I? I'll have to do that one of these days). so anyway its a horny 16 year old male...gotcha. 2. the boondocks on adult swim is mad funny, everything I expected, except I suppose it'll just be a matter of time before I stop seeing regina hall circa "friday" everytime huey or riley talk. 3. sean carter and nasir sittin in a treeeeee k.i.s.s.i.n.g. I love that those two talented and successful black men could finally dead their beef for the greater good (money). now word is nas is making a full-length album with premier beats. orgasm. 4. the new jewelry at H&M is hot. chonky bitches love accessories because when all else fails earrings and necklaces will always fit. I'm sure I've mentioned this previously. 5. I had a physical for the first time in a years a couple weeks ago and my doctor informed me that I was not 5'8" as I've been led to believe for years. I'm 5'7". I openly wept like she told me I had six months to live. think I'ma change it on my driver's license though? think again. 6. a few days ago my daughter spit-up on me just as I was about to leave for work and all the febreeze and perfume in the world couldn't quite completely mask the smell of regurgitated soy yet I still wore it to work. I just didn't walk too closely to anyone nahmean. *shrug* now why I'm not being hotly pursued by publishing houses to publish my weblog is just beyond me...