ebbs and flows
I hate you two-faced, rat bastard motherfuckers. I hate you with passion unequivocal. you snake in the grass pussy bitchniggas.
had to let this out first to let room in for the flowers and sunshine that will follow...
as it goes certain days are better then others; had to deal with my emotions over the past couple weeks regarding some shady individuals I foolishly let in my cipher...its an interesting and altogether enlightening experience to see who does and doesn't stand by you when the heat is on. I'm such a blindly faithful friend...I expect the same out of those I stand next to, frontline, in the battle that is my life...when I don't see the same reflected it's fairly easy for me to cut them out. no parasites in my appletree, thanks...but the past three days have been satisfactory, though. yesterday was my boy harlan's birthday (damn there's been a gang of them this month, what you know about a cotdamn soulquarian), so I took him out to lunch. day before that, I made a couple new business contacts courtesy my boy rodney. basically, shit is really starting to pick up with my design company which is jah bless because my third and last interview with the district manager of the make-up store which shall remain unnamed keeps getting mysteriously postponed...so I have to keep anticipating it. whatever, I'm busy...I have a big project to finish up for bluecypher in the next couple days, then I'ma branch my shit into two categories, adult and non-adult...I need to attract a wider range of clientele while I'm on a roll and cover all my bases...I don't limit myself as far as my webdesign skills go, why allow others to do so...
yea, today was a good day, though...christopher got here this morning, looking as sleepy and adorable as he always does after spending hours on a bus from cleveland...and my birthday is tomorrow, my party on friday...so I have lots of good shit to look forward to. I haven't had a birthday party in years...maybe in like...I don't even remember, but definitely over ten years. it's gonna be all about meeee me me meeee me me...for at least a day...I'ma try not to put myself and my own needs off for others for 24 hours...ah yesss....YUP.
I am not going to get drunk at my party, though...no, no, no. ganjafied, yes...drunk, no. I got drunk last friday when I was out with kyedi, james, and stanley and I felt poisoned until just a couple of days ago...I could hardly move...in retrospect I should've made myself throw up. I left my change purse in the cab and everything...my louis vuitton change purse at that...kid I took a cab with, this dread boy named paul, grabbed it for me though, and when I met harlan for lunch yesterday he dropped it off at the restaurant. I never leave shit behind...so I know I was fucked up. hennessey! my mama was like "well that's what you get"...
kinda nervous about if I'll be able to move within the next 4 weeks, but if I get focused enough I can make it happen. it'd help if my broker would get back to me...fuckin hate having to hunt folk down when I'm always immediately available for them when I'm needed. but getting out of this ceiling-falling, no hot water for more then ten minutes, triflin ass apartment building is imperative...the landlord said if I'm out by march 14 I wouldn't have to pay march rent...so...it's so serious right now.
every year around my birthday I have some deep epiphany. this year...nothing. besides what I knew before...that dominoes are gonna fall where they will...actually it goes "let the chips fall where they may", right? I like dominoes better, sounds more pimp. I usually do food metaphors but...I'm not hungry right now.
oh shit you know what I found out the other day? I ordered some panties from online...they delivered them UPS but I never got them...infact, on the day they were supposedly "signed for" I wasn't even in the state of new york much less at my apartment. so I don't know if someone else in my building signed for them or UPS left them at the door but either way...someone stole my panties. ain't that a bitch? I told christopher I hoped they liked them...he thought that was sick but I feel like if someone steals something from me, something I paid for and truly wanted, I'd rather them get good use out of it then just toss it aside in the aftermath of stealing simply for the sake of.
now if they would've stole them after they'd been hugged up to my chocha then...I'd be more disturbed. and moreso, flattered.
so buy me some shit off my wishlist, or at least just tell me happy birthday.